Wednesday, November 26, 2003
back again
i'm back again. i've succumbed again to the temptations of him. it just felt so right to be back in his arms again. i felt so alive. i felt so happy. i felt hope for the future. i still love him. and i've come back to the deep again where nothing motivates me again except the promise of him.
i want to get back with him so badly. i want to feel that sense of being a part of a couple, of taking care of someone, of just connecting with someone. and not just someone, him. i want to connect both emotionally, mentally and physically.
hay, how can i bring myself up again? i'm so tired of having to go through what i've gone through before... of trying to refocus my attention and passion to another thing. i can't even bring myself to refocus to another person. haay grabe...
still don't know...
i'm back again. i've succumbed again to the temptations of him. it just felt so right to be back in his arms again. i felt so alive. i felt so happy. i felt hope for the future. i still love him. and i've come back to the deep again where nothing motivates me again except the promise of him.
i want to get back with him so badly. i want to feel that sense of being a part of a couple, of taking care of someone, of just connecting with someone. and not just someone, him. i want to connect both emotionally, mentally and physically.
hay, how can i bring myself up again? i'm so tired of having to go through what i've gone through before... of trying to refocus my attention and passion to another thing. i can't even bring myself to refocus to another person. haay grabe...
still don't know...
Saturday, November 01, 2003
here and now
here and now, i'm at the office. saturday, november 1, all soul's day (or is it saint's? oh well...).
i feel nothing. no intense emotions at all while i'm here. i don't feel passionately towards this mba paper i'm doing. but i don't have any passion to do anything. is something wrong or is it just one of those days? hmmmm... i wanna bring back that passion. i want to feel that again. and it's up to me to bring it back. i want something new. but i've just gotten this new job. weird. i actually asked for this job because this is what i though i wanted. i wanted to manage. but am i really managing? will i ever feel that satisfaction i've always been looking for in different aspects of my life? once i get what i asked for, why am i still not satisfied? weird.
i know it's all up to me. but how? arg!
oh well, these are just emotions that i have to shut out first since i really want to finish this mba paper. i used to feel so passionately about this but how come i'm feeling so lazy to do this?
hmmmm.... am i just lazy?
:)
here and now, i'm at the office. saturday, november 1, all soul's day (or is it saint's? oh well...).
i feel nothing. no intense emotions at all while i'm here. i don't feel passionately towards this mba paper i'm doing. but i don't have any passion to do anything. is something wrong or is it just one of those days? hmmmm... i wanna bring back that passion. i want to feel that again. and it's up to me to bring it back. i want something new. but i've just gotten this new job. weird. i actually asked for this job because this is what i though i wanted. i wanted to manage. but am i really managing? will i ever feel that satisfaction i've always been looking for in different aspects of my life? once i get what i asked for, why am i still not satisfied? weird.
i know it's all up to me. but how? arg!
oh well, these are just emotions that i have to shut out first since i really want to finish this mba paper. i used to feel so passionately about this but how come i'm feeling so lazy to do this?
hmmmm.... am i just lazy?
:)
