change

it's been a long time na... i still get so affected. after weeks of not seeing and texting him, i finally see him. and it looked like he was ok. he moved on na. like nothing happened. he was back to going out, gimmicks. and he looked like he was having fun. he looked like he was having more fun with them than with me during "us". that hurt a lot. didn't he even miss me? didn't he even wonder how i was?
i don't know what to accept. but i have to accept this. accept that he doesn't really care about me now? or accept that he's just an uncaring asshole? why do i have to maintain this resentment to him? i want him to feel that he really hurt me with all the things he said and how he treated me. but it's not getting through to him. what if ganun na talaga? what if di na niya ma-aaccept? what if he never accepts or never ever realizes the mistakes he took? does that mean i'll have this hatred forever in my heart? yoko ata. it's too tiring. all i want is not to see him. to really forget that he ever existed in my life. but i can't. i have to accept that i can't. i have to accept that he's better off without me. bakit di ko ma-accept? am i still missing something? that's what i have to think about.... why can't i let go?